New Year’s Message On Love Languages and Giving

2016 turned out to be one of the best years of my life. It was the year that I realized that only I have the power to make all of my dreams come true. It was also the year that I turned 30, marking three decades of life lived on earth! I’ve heard other people claim that a bright light suddenly goes off once you hit the third decade. I don’t know if that’s completely true, but I will say that it kind of feels like it might be! While doing my annual end of year reflections, I thought about a book that I read about 5 or 6 years ago. The book is called, “The Five Love Languages” written by Gary Chapman. It is one of those ‘once you read it, life suddenly becomes clearer’ books!

What are the Five Love Languages?

Before reading this book, I did realize that people give and show love in different ways but I was not aware of the classification system that demonstrates the various love languages that people have. Your spouse’s way of showing love may be completely different than your own way of showing love. Two friends may each find that they have different love languages. If love is the whole reason for living, then it would only make sense for others to be aware of the fact that love languages exist and to attempt to speak and understand others love languages.

The Five love languages that Gary speaks about in his book are:

1.) Receiving gifts

2.) Quality Time

3.) Words of Affirmation

4.) Acts of Service

5.) Physical Touch

Through reading the book and taking Chapman’s assessment test, I learned that my primary love language is in receiving gifts and my secondary love language is acts of service. I’m sure everyone has a person that they can think of who’s always giving gifts to friends or loved ones. That person’s love language is receiving gifts. The giver will usually like to also be the receiver if this is their primary love language. Chapman stated that naturally, people are more privy to give love in the way that they receive love.

He’s such a giving person!

Being a giver can be a blessing and a curse. I know firsthand! This is something that I’ll be working on in 2017. Giving less. Givers always have the desire to give and give. This essentially is very good when they put it to good use, such as developing a philanthropic nature or being deeply involved in charity work. The negative aspect of being a giver is that they often overlook the fact that others will take advantage of them due to their giving nature. People tend to take from the givers in their lives without realizing that the person giving is expressing their love to them. The giver can experience hardships when they realize that as much as they give to others, they hardly or never receive in return.

If you find that a giver is always giving to you, why not speak their love language and give to them? If you find that a person is always offering you loving words or good advice, take the time out and provide that person with a few of your own words of affirmation.

Spending quality time may not make as much sense to the person who likes to receive gifts or hear loving words of affirmation. Individuals can use the 5 love languages as signs or symbols indicating another’s love for them, even if it is not the way that you express love. When you see no signs of any of the above, then you have to question whether or not the individual in your life really and truly loves you. I believe that the number one reason for failed relationships is that people are unaware of their loved ones’ love languages. The other reason for failed relationships is that individuals who were once aware of their loved ones love language begin to stop speaking it. Remember that naturally, people prefer receiving love in the way that they give love.

If you desire to become aware of your own love language, be sure to take the assessment here:

https://goo.gl/qhFU26

Let others become aware of your love language after you take it! Spread love in 2017 and Have a Joyous New Year!!!